Eleanor Roosevelt said you should “do one thing everyday that scares you.” Well I do. I write everyday, (well almost) and that’s pretty scary, isn’t it? The fear that your story won’t pan out, that no one will like it, that you’ll send something out into the world and people will read it and might think it’s awful. That’s terrifying. But I do it anyway. I choke back that fear and damn it, I do it anyway. Because I have to. I have no choice.
No, no one’s pointing a gun at my head and telling me I’d better tap on that keyboard everyday or else. That’s not what I mean. What I’m saying is, writing is no longer a hobby for me. It’s an innate need. So I write, and I try not to think about the frightening parts.
But right now, I’m about to do something else. Something that I don’t have to do. Something that I enjoy doing all the time on my own, when no one else is listening. Something that I occasionally do in front of close friends and family – and maybe a few more people if I’ve had an encouraging beverage (ahem).
Basically, something that scares the CRAP out of me, and yet I’m going to do it. Why? Because Eleanor Roosevelt, that’s why! And because a few of you have seen me tweet about playing my ukulele and have asked if you’ll ever get to hear it. And also because someone must have gassed me with courage vapors in my sleep last night. But mostly because I’ve always deeply wished that singing in front of others didn’t scare me as much as it does.
Yesterday I got the notion in my head that I could probably figure out the chords for “Java Jive” if I fiddled around enough. And I did! And I was so proud of myself that today, after lots of practice, I recorded it. I recorded it about twenty times, in fact, until I got a version that I was happy with. It’s audio only because I’m not brave enough to do video yet.
So ….(deep breath)….. here it is.
And now I will go run away and hide and breathe into a paper bag.
Thanks for listening!